Friday, September 26, 2003

I (Tia) was rushing to get ready this morning. I clicked on the weather channel to see what I should wear. Somehow, I ended up on one of the news station. I looked up to see what station I was actually on and that's when I saw it. Robert Palmer passed away in Paris this morning from a heart attack. I usually don't get upset when celebrities die. But Robert Palmer was one of my all time favorite singers.

That Brit Boy had soul.

I'm really going to miss Mr. Palmer.

Thursday, September 25, 2003


Thank you so much for all of your prayers and encouragement. After taking the bus, bumming rides and waking up at ungodly hours interrupting dreams of me and Brett Michaels, I finally have a car!!!!!! Last night I drove away in a 2000 Toyota Corolla! Praise God! I have already named her. Her name is Marilyn. I have no idea why. My first two cars were named after men, Malik (Yoba) and Maxwell (because it was black and sleak). This time, I wanted to give my car a girl's name. I love it!

Even though I am excited about my car today, I couldn't allow myself to be too excited last night. In fact I was a bit disappointed in myself. My attitude has sucked ever since I lost my car and everything just snowballed. I hate the fact that my joy seems to be dependent on what I have. I knew that God knew I needed a car. There were just some things I had to go through before He blessed me with one. It wasn't until 2 weeks ago that I actually started to get my heart right. So when I wanted to bust out in a holy dance in the Toyota parking lot, I started thinking "You should have been just as happy and praising God WEEKS ago." See, it doesn't matter the circumstance. Circumstances should not affect your joy. Happiness is fleeting but joy lasts. My joy was zapped. Sure I was laughing and having fun from time to time but I was struggling inside due to my lack of faith and just being salty. So this is one of things I have learned out of the many things i have learned through this whole ordeal: I cannot let my trials rob me of my joy. I have to be patient and joyful through suffering because I am a child of God and therefore everything I need is taken care of whether I can see it or not. These things will make me stronger in the end and will make me into the person God wants me to be.

Another thing is I needed to get a car myself verses letting my dad get me a car because I needed to know that I could do it myself. My last car was the last thing my dad was taking care of for me so now I am officially an adult. And that makes me much happier than getting a new car ever could.

Man, I need to get all of you to pray for me more often!I got my car about 2 days after I asked everyone to pray for me to get one. Now if you would all put your hand on the screen and pray that I marry Lenny Kravitz... (Look, you have not cause you ask not. I aint 'shamed!)

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

(That's a Public Service Announcement for those of you born after 1983)
by Tia

This particular PSA is for my UN-single people. From time to time we like to offer helpful hints on ways to better your relationship with the one you love. So grab you pen and paper and jot down this helpful tidbit.

I was in Hollywood Video renting British flicks (that's what I do.) I must take a moment to talk about how FOIN Keanu Reeves looked in the 5' Matrix display. GOOOODNEEEESSSS!!!!! That coat is an abomination. Did the tailors wrap him in the fabric and then cut it into a coat around his body? If you haven't seen the second Matrix it is worth seeing simply to see Keanu's BEAUTIFULLY tailored coat. Avoid the huge group sex scene at ALL COSTS. Anyway, I walk in to pick up my Brit flicks and I walk past this random looking guy. I pay him no mind until the air shifts and I catch wind of him. When I say I almost passed out I mean I ALMOST PASSED OUT. I'd just left the gym and was already short of breath and then this guy literally took my breath away. He smelled better than ANY GUY I've ever KNOWN. That is not an exaggeration. I had to ask him, "Excuse me, WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?!?!" He looked very confused so I walked over to the girl I assumed was his girlfriend and asked her. Ladies, if there is a significant other I beseech thee to go NOW and buy him SEVERAL bottles of Estee Lauder's Pleasures for Men. Fellas, if you love your woman you will obtain a bottle of Pleasures. If that scent does not stop you in your tracks then you're dead inside.

This concludes our PSA for the evening. Good Night.

Tuesday, September 23, 2003

Rent A Husband . Remember I said I don't think about marriage until something goes wrong with my car or I can't reach something in the kitchen? Someone caught the vision. I'm not saying it's right. I am just saying that I understand.

This is Toya. If you are reading this now, I urge you to put your hand on the screen and pray in the name of Jesus that I get a car and FAST because this morning was the last straw. For some reason, I woke up at 2 am. When I saw that it was 2 and not 5, I was so elated and went back to sleep. Soon after I had a dream that Tia found a secret location where they were having a Poison meet and greet. When we arrived and rushed in to be first in line, the manager was telling the band that if they didn't want to live off of per diem for the rest of the tour, they would do their meet and greets with a smile and stop complaining. I guess they didn't want to do them for some reason. Anyway, Tia and I make our way to the front and start talking to Brett Michaels first. Then my alarm went off, but when it went off, I hit snooze and went back to sleep and the dream continued! I did this 5 different times and each time it picked up where I left off. For some reason, Brett was trying to get me on the bus to watch Jumping Jack Flash and he was really trying to holla at me. Thank God for dreams and vivid, peculiar imaginations.

To make a long story short (ie this dream was too weird to describe in writing) I had to wake up or I was going to miss the bus. If I didn't have to take the bus, I would have had a full hour and a half to finish the dream. Who knows what could have happened with me and Brett! Okay, maybe it is good that I woke up.

I usually don't remember my dreams and it is usually a good thing because I rarely have good dreams that I would like to remember. One time, I was dreaming that I was sitting next to Maxwell (he smelled AMAZING) on a piano stool and right when he was about to open his mouth to sing, my mom hollered that she couldn't find the remote control and woke me up. That was ALMOST worth the beatin' of my life to flip out on her.

So I ask you all to pray for me and hey, if there is anything that Tia and I could pray about for you, email us at . Okay, now I have Hammer's "Pray" in my head right now. "We've got to pray just to make it today. That's why we pray." Time to get back to work.

Monday, September 22, 2003

Hallelujah Quote of the Day
Even MORE reasons to LOVE Andre 3000

And I quote,
"Right now, hip-hop is the most uninspired, deadest s*** ever on the radio. Hip-hop and some rock music;"

Be mad if you want to. I didn't say. A rapper said it.

Second best quote of the day

My former boyfriend Dave Matthews said, and again I quote,
"Oh good God, I mean, I'll tell you, listening to the radio, it's like...[he mimes hitting buttons] I end up on some public radio station playing Beethoven and I'm like 'Thank God.'"

I (Tia) thought I was the only person who thinks that the current state of music is downright offensive. ENTIRELY offensive (content, production, vocals...everything) I do believe that the reason that music sales are down is NOT b/c so many people are downloading. It's b/c the MUSIC sucks. Remember when everything didn't sound the same? Remember when talent was a requirement for a record deal? Remember times BEFORE remixes? Remember when artists wore clothes?

I must return to work.

(All quotes taken from Entertainment Weekly, Sept 26, 2003)

Friday, September 19, 2003

Toya's Random Thoughts

This has GOT to be the longest work day in history. I honestly am wasting away here and I am sure it is due to the 5 max hours of sleep I have been getting all of this week.

Song of the moment: "Still In Love" Troop

Now I know that we have a lot of guys that read this blog so I am going to warn you ahead of time: I have some female issues I need to discuss with my sisters right now. You can opt to not read this or be privy to the behavior of a woman in the midst of her menstrual cycle. Your choice.

Why is my period 11 days early??!!??!! This would explain a lot. My stomach was so bloated this week that my belly button ring looked like a turkey timer. I should have known by the signs: thoughts of marriage, wanting to cut my hair, lower back pain, contemplating stabbing myself at my desk with a letter opener if I didn't get some chocolate soon. These are my tell tale signs.

Tia and I just had a conversation a few nights back about the struggle to find a decent tampon/maxi pad. Who makes these things? How can you decide? Do you know what ALWAYS stands for? We will ALWAYS change your pads so when you go to the store every couple of months you won't know what the heck you are looking for and you and 5 other lost women will be standing in the feminine aisle for an average of 15 minutes trying to decide "Was it the one with the dove or the 3 drops? Was it with wings or velcro? What do Overnight's look like now? I thought it was in a purple box." I am telling you, go to this aisle at the end of the month and witness the look of angst on these women's faces. It is so sad. Now they have ones in black. Well I thought they were so cute so I took these puppies home and low and behold, it is like sitting on a Post-It Note. It was so small!! Who makes these things!

It's so unfair. I would never want to be a man but I could really do without this monthly. How about once a year for 2 weeks? Grant it, you could only get pregnant once a year but at least you could go on vacation (I am sure God is shaking His head at my silly suggestions one again.) My most embarrassing period story happened when I was 16 and I was sitting on a stoop in North Philly in 98 degree weather in the middle of August. We were waiting for a friend of mine to come home and I thought I would be grown and wear a tampon. Note: if you don't wear them, don't let your first day be in public.. Well here I am waiting for him to come home and I am bleeding all over his doorstep. Panicked, I reached for my friend's Coca Cola and poured it all over myself. I don't mine people thinking I am a clutz but I would have no way been able to explain to my friend, a guy, that I had a little feminine mishap. So unfair.

So right now with my period 11 days early, I am no happy camper. Wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it go:

I Don't Know (to the tune of They Don't Know Who We Be by DMX)

The store, Aisle 9, the confusion, the grief
Have Midol, in hand, to give me, relief
With wings, with velcro, how can I decide
No more chocolate in the house, I broke down, I cried

I don't know (drip drip, drip drip) why we bleed (drip drip, drip drip)
I don't know (drip drip, drip drip) why we bleed (drip drip, drip drip)

The bloating, the headaches, the swelling of the face
The nausea, the cramping, my pad's out of place
Every month, with no fail, for 5 days I bleed
When I get to heaven, don't let me see Eve

I don't know (drip drip, drip drip) why we bleed (drip drip, drip drip)
I don't know (drip drip, drip drip) why we bleed (drip drip, drip drip)

Thursday, September 18, 2003

"Ha Ha Ha!!!! I have deceived you all, my pretties. And now I have your little children too. Ha Ha Ha!!!"

Madonna is coming out with a string of children's books because she feels that today's children's books don't offer children any moral values. She also doesn't allow her children to watch TV. She will however allow her little girl to be flower girl at that debauchery circus that took place last month called the MTV VMA's. What the @!%# ??? Maybe it's just me. Has to be. I'll give it to her, she 's wicked but she's brilliant. You never know what she is going to do next.

If you are like me and don't get paid until tomorrow, you may not be able to buy any new CD's unil you get that paper. Don't fear. You can hear the entire new Erykah Badu CD (My favorite female artist!!!) on I still rock Mama's Gun as if it just came out but this one is good. Different but good. I wasn't disappointed in this one as I was the much anticipated Seal record which I still believe will have to grow on me. You can also hear Anthony Hamilton's album which will be released on the 23rd, I believe. He was the guy who sang on the first Nappy Roots single and his current single is "Coming From Where I'm From" which is in rotation on VH1 Soul. This album is great! I have been wanting to hear a new album from somebody who can SANG and he can SANG. Like Al Green "wanna moan for love" SANG. Great stuff.

Wednesday, September 17, 2003

I should be asleep. I am utterly sick. I've had a cold for about 2 days and have gone into work anyway. A friend of mine just told me that if I don't take care of myself she is going to come beat me with a stick. And I don't doubt that she would do it. But I was up checking the site (don't know why) and I decided to check the blog of one of my favorite teenagers, Centennial. I was scrolling through her stuff and found a link for

This is what it said about my name. The scariest thing is that it was right on point. I mean almost ALL of it.

Your first name of Tia has made you a friendly, approachable, and generous person. Generally you are good-natured, though at times you can be blunt and sarcastic. As you are naturally talkative, you find it easy to meet and make friends with many people. This name inclines you to be sympathetic and generous to those in difficult or unfortunate circumstances. You can be firm, positive, and independent in your own ideas and in reaching your own decisions, yet when it comes to taking action or following things through to completion, you often need encouragement. You respond quickly to kind words or any appreciation shown you. There are artistic, creative abilities in this name that you could express through music or singing, or, in a practical way, through sewing or interior decorating. You enjoy freedom from monotony and are stimulated by unexpected opportunities for meeting people, entertaining, or pursuing activities of a carefree nature. In your work, you find it difficult to be neat and orderly. You rarely plan things ahead of time, or follow a routine. Emotion and feeling, the desire to be carefree, friendly, and happy, are the driving forces in your being, rather than shrewdness, ambition, and material success.
Wednesday, 5:30p.m., sick...Tia's Random Thoughts

I try. I really do. I try to cut them some slack. I try to give them the benefit of the doubt. I try not to have lowered expectations in regards to them. But then they always do something, that makes me say, "Boys are stupid." I won't go into much detail. But boys really can be stupid. Not to say that girls aren't equally as challenged. We just know how to hide it better.

Probably Run By Boys
I regret to inform you that Fox has decided NOT to bring back Keen Eddie. One of the most prolific shows of the summer will not be makin' a come back. All information about the show has been pulled from the Fox web site. FOOLS!!! IDIOTS!!! CRETINS!!!! TROGLODYTES!!!

I will so miss Eddie, Det. Pippen, Det. Pippen's hair, and Superintendent Johnson ("Do you think this company should be all white?") But we knew that the Fox execs had no vision and that is why we have all but 1 episode taped.

Where is Balthazar Getty?

Please check out if you are a thicky-thick girl like me. They have a HOT t-shirt for us.

Completely Random Thought
I used to think there was something was wrong with me for wanting to be someone's wife. I dated this one guy who asked me, "Why do you want to get married?" and basically made me feel like, because I didn't have an A,B,C answer, there was something wrong with me. (I look back now and realize HE had commitment issues. Silly Boy.) Anyway, I'm coming to realize that I'm just wired like that, as are most girls if they're honest with themselves. I would love feedback on this. Ladies, Gentlemen...holla back.

Boo Hiss to IKEA
In case I hadn't mentioned it, IKEA is my favourite furniture store in the whole wide world. I once walked hand in hand with a boy I was madly in like with through an IKEA. Now that was a good date. Anyway, I have been waiting ever so patiently for the new IKEA catalogue. They have been tormenting me for weeks with the piddly online version. So of course when 15 Sep rolled around I was online trying to order the hard copy extended version. But I was brutally rebuffed. Apparently, IKEA didn't realize that 130 million copies of their mag had been printed this year (that's more than the Bible) because I was told that there was a limited number of catalogues and that there were no paper copies of the catalogue allotted for my particular zip code. PUNKS!!! But never let it be said that I'm not resourceful. I had one copy sent to my dad's house and my new friend Chad is going to have one sent to his house in San Fran and he's going to send it to me via inner office mail. So I'll have 2.
SLAM THE MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We will not talk about how just played Vesta, Christopher Williams (Promises, Promises) and is now playing Silk (Freak Me). Time to switch stations. This is neither the time nor the place for that song.

Monday, September 15, 2003

Can't...stay awake...must blog...must....snore

This is Toya, your favorite new Starbucks barista. I know I have gained at least 5 pounds chugging back my own Frappucino concoctions. I am sooooo sleepy. It has been a while since I have held down a few jobs at a time and I am getting old. I explained to a friend that in December I will be pre-30, not 29. 29 is a joke-you are just sittin' around waitin' to be 30. That's all you're doin'.

I have so much I want to write but I believe that God is calling me to step up in my faithfulness meaning I can't post from work. Meaning, I need to get my tail a laptop, meaning I will continue to work 2 jobs until I am more financially stable and hopefully writing full time. Aah, I would love that so much. That would be "So choice" (love that FERRIS BUELLER, love Tia more for making me laugh everytime she says it).

Like I said, I have a lot to write about but I can't so I will write a line or two:

I feel SO sorry for you if you are not hip to Kenna's "Sacred Cow" CD. I am so sad for you. Definitely my favorite CD this year. It will inspire you. I can't say the same for Seal's new CD. I don't hate it but I don't love it and because I absolutely love the rest of his stuff, I am feeling a little salty. It's a good album, just not what I want to hear right now. Dreaming in Metaphors is absolutely one of the most perfect songs ever written in the history of music. It would be unfair for me to expect him to recreate such a masterpiece. I am trying to not be such a music snob anymore. I used to not be so nice.

Boyfriend of the Month

That is one heck of an altar call, isn't it? ...LENNY KRAVITZ!!!

As you may have noticed, there hasn't been a boyfriend of the week since Matthew Good Googa Mooga McCauneghey (I know I butchered the spelling if his name but I am falling asleep here). That is because that picture of him was so fine I just let him ride the month of August out. I am super busy so I don't think I can do this weekly. We'll try Boyfriend of the Month for a while.

Renee and I have found that I have a type. People have asked me what my type was and it was easier for me to say what I didn't want in a guy rather than what I did want. Well, tah dah, this is my type. He's black, gorgeous, he can rock out as well as appreciate a good ol' slow jam (I Belong to You), he loves his mama (the late Roxie Roker-BGLU Hall of Famer) and most importantly, he loves him some Jesus. He said on VH1 that "Are You Gonna Go My Way" was about Jesus, the ultimate rock star and has "My Heart Belongs to Jesus" tattoed on his body. Okay, he can be a bit on the lustful side sometimes especially with that tongue hockey scene in the "Again" video but hey, I love this man's heart and if you haven't been to one of his shows you are missing something extraordinary. He performs every song like it is the absolute last of the night. As much as I love him for myself, I really hope that he gets back with his baby's mama, Lisa Bonet. It's all about the kids, man, I'm no hater. Well, not today anyway.

So yes, Boyfriend of the Week belongs to my prince of Rock and Soul, Lenny Kravitz.

I have to be up in 6 hours. Agony.


And now to further cement my geekiness

I scored 165,920 and reached LEVEL 20 on Galaga today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I had a craptacular day on Friday. Where some people turn to comfort food when they’re sad, I prefer comfort presents for Tia. I first stopped by Bath and Body Works to purchase all of the remaining bottles of White Ginger and Amber. I would like to thank B&B for discontinuing a fragrance that I love (that smelled EXACTLY like the fragrance I wore my senior year of college which Yves Saint Laurent felt THEY needed to discontinue) and leaving me with all of the rest of that crap that smells the same. I then proceeded to Best Buy. I was going to buy Hot Pursuit 2 so that when I see my friend Brian next month I can WHOOP him mercilessly when we play. However, much to my chagrin, they were sold out of HP2. They DID have Namco Museum and Tekken 4 for $19.99. Namco Museum is for the grown and sexy. It has games that people born after 1985 have probably never actually seen or played: Galaga, Galaxia, Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man, DigDug, and Pole Position 1&2. It was on and poppin’ Saturday. I spent most of Saturday night playing Galaga and Pole Position. I woke Sunday and my thumbs hurt. I went home for lunch today and played and that is when I got the GLOW. I was in the ZONE, BABY!!!!! After I quit playing I ran around the house singing Queen’s “We are the champions” in first person. There is no “WE.” Only I am the champion.

I am the BIGGEST nerd I know and I wouldn’t change a thing.

I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I am the champion, my friend. And I-I-I-I-I-I’ll keep in playing ‘til the end. I am the champion. I am the champion. No time for weenies, ‘cuz I am the champion of GALAGA.

Saturday, September 13, 2003

Okay...So this is NOT Robin Thicke? - Tia

Apparently some store in Auckland, NZ is selling Robin Thicke kits with the tag line "How to grow a Robin Thicke at home." This is ridiculous.
In case you were wondering, this is Karl Urban. I (Tia) would add him to the ever growing list of favourite Brit Boys but he originally hails from the land down under and thus is disqualified from the list. He can currently be found living in the land of the Kiwis (that's New Zealand for those that didn't know.) I think I'm going to have to do a boys from down under list. Karl, Heath...hmmmm
I stumbled across Karl in the second installment of The Lord of the Rings. I have to be honest. Much like favourite Brit Boy #2, Orlando Bloom, I was not checking for Karl until I watched the bonus stuff. In the film he simply looks like a thick grungy white guy. And then there was the bonus stuff. I wasn't ready. I don't know why I continue to sleep on people in the LOTR. I need to just skip right to the bonus stuff and see what they're working with.
Any whilst I'm thinking about it, can anyone give me some insight on something that I began to think about as I watched the LOTR Thursday night? There is a scene when Galdolf is trying to break the spell off of the king. While doing so, his trusty companions are left the task of keeping the king's body guards at bay. Now y'all know I love Orlando Bloom. But as he was kicking large quantities of butt I found myself liking him a WHOLE lot more. What is about a man fighting that excites a girl? Why is it that a man you weren't really feeling all that much will catch your attention if he goes to blows for you? Is it just me or what? I don't know what it is but there is something about a man that is willing to mentally and PHYSICALLY protect me that makes me all mushy inside. I have a real special place in my heart for thugs. (We will not talk about how cute I think Nelly is, nor will we discuss my strange fascination with Murphy Lee...."I can see she never seen Murphy Lee before, cuz she's just standing there as if I'm shooting free throws" We don't talk about that.) But am I the only one? Am I the only one who wants a boo that's a little rough around the edges? A man that will get in another man's face for disrespecting me. A man that will fight for me, figuratively and literally? If I'm the only one then I'll be that. I'm not ashamed. How LL needed a round the way girl, I need a round the way guy.

Friday, September 12, 2003

I meant to post this a week ago. Procrastination is the word of the day.

I didn’t realize I knew so many Poison songs. I think I know at least the chorus of every mainstream Poison hit. I’m not going to lie. I’m a fan. Have been since junior high. I think in the beginning I became a fan because I thought Brett Michaels was cute. But the more I listened the more I liked. I think it has something to do with Poison’s infectious hooks.

Finish this line:
At the drive in…
Every rose has its thorn, just like….
Don’t need nothing but a….

You know you know the words. You know all of Poison’s songs because they all sound the same. So I guess that’s why I get excited every year when Poison comes around. I know I’m going to have a good time and I know they’re going to sing the songs the people want to hear. (Unlike Kenny Loggins who sang ALL obscure B-sides. Don’t get me wrong B-sides are good. Love Will Follow hurts me EVERYTIME. And if you don’t know about Love Will Follow, GO FIND *download* IT NOW. That is quiet storm slow jam for yo’ behind. But sing the songs the people want to hear. Footloose is aight. But throw me a freakin’ bone. Where was Heart to Heart? Okay, I’m done.) This year was no exception. Brett and the boys did not disappoint.

I had to stay home and paint the fire damage on Monday. There was no way I was going to miss the show, BUT I knew that I had to take some responsibility to get the house back in order (since in a way I was a little bit responsible. But NOT A LOT.) . Curse this infernal adulthood. As the evening waned on I couldn’t quite figure out why Toya kept calling. She knew that I was coming. Calling me every 10 minutes was not going to get me there any faster. It was only when I got my ticket from will call and followed her closer and closer and closer toward the stage did I understand her enthusiasm. HOLY CRAP!!!!!! I could see Vince Neil’s crow’s feet. (Y’all, my man is getting old. That’s what he gets for not kickin’ it with Tommy Lee.) You know how you get so excited about something that you think you just might pass out/on? That’s how I felt. I think the magnitude of the situation kicked in. “I’m in the seventh row. Brett is coming here. I can see Brett. Brett can see ME….BOBBY CAN SEE ME!!!!” I immediately began formulating my plan of action. I figured I could take out at LEAST 3 security guards. I’m strong and I’m quick and I’m black. They’ll probably just assume I work here. (That was a joke, Corey.) By the time they figure it out, I’ll have grabbed Bobby/Brett up around the ankles.

After I came back to the land known as REALITY, I settled in to enjoy the show. Poison commenced rockin’ like it was 1988. Some bands/artists put on mediocre shows. I can understand that. You do the same songs night after night after night. Same stuff, different place. Poison is not one of those bands. ALL the hits. Well not all of them. They didn’t sing “I Want Action”…..But it didn’t matter. Brett still looks 29. Bobby still looks…um….nice. (I shan’t say anything further. Y’all know he fine.) Rikki still looks fabu. (Rikki had wardrobe. My man changed clothes, hats and accessories. Go on Boy!) And CC still looks crazy. (We’ve all seen the Poison Behind the Music. The moral of that story is DRUGS ARE BAD!)

I could go off on some long drawn out spiel about how good the show was and all, but why? Poison ROCKED. Brett rocked. Rikki rocked. CC rocked. Bobby rocked like Gibraltar. Great show. Great fans. Great time. Great friends. We’ll do it all again next year.

Quote of the night
“God bless you m****af*****s!!!!”
I mean, he tried.
Toya's Random Thoughts ie I am bored, it's Friday and I can't wait to get off work

I think I love music TOO much. I am getting that giggly joy thing again. My Yahoo Launch channel plays all of my favorite songs all of the time. It is now playing Brown Eyed Girl by (not Van Morrison) The Isley Brothers.

The Grown and Sexy know that for The Isley Brothers, there was life before Mr. Biggs. I heard on the Tom Joyner Morning Show that Ron Isley doesn't even answer to Ron anymore, only Mr. Biggs. I hope they were saying that for comedic value.

Call me an ol' school fool but I hate that every Isley Brothers song now sounds like a mini-opera no matter what the song is about:

"This is Mr. Biiiiiggs"
"How ya doin' Mr. Biiiiiggs?"
"I'm going to the store"
"Why you going to the store"
"This heffa didn't by no hot sauce when I told her to buy some hot sauce"
"Just because she forgot your hot sauce doesn't mean you should call her heffa"
"Now wait a minute. See,now my catfish has no taaaaaste. Oh I'm about to catch a caaaaaase"...

I know, I know, that was corny. See, I told you I was bored.

My point is why did Ron Isley turn gangsta in the 90's? Don't you miss old Isley Brothers? What happened to "Everybody take a stand, join the Caravan of Love..I'm your brother, don't ya know?" What happened to Between the Sheets and Make Me Say It Again Girl? When WILL there be a "Harvest for the World"? Sigh...

My station is now playing "A Different Corner" by George Michael. Good times!

So anyway, I love The Isley Brothers and wish that they would get back to the love as much as I need to get my butt back to work.

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Tia’s Random Thoughts

Why is it so easy to offend people? Why do the filters in my head sometimes randomly shut off leaving people defenseless against the things that will SPILL out of my mouth?
James 3:5-8
Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

I mean, DANG!!!!!

Theme song for the moment: My Stupid Mouth

Further Evidence of John Mayer’s Ph.D. in Pimpology

“So I’ll check the weather wherever you are
Cause I wanna know if you can see the stars tonight
It might be my only right”

Split Screen Sadness – Heavier Things

I used to date a guy that kept the weather of my city (I was away at school) on his desktop at work. He said he just wanted to know what I was seeing. It was a small thing but it was terribly sweet and endearing. The kind of thing that really makes you want to be around a person. Badly.
Mr. Mayer needs to write a Pimpin’ Made Easy Handbook. According to Big Daddy Kane, “Pimpin’ ain’t easy.” Apparently he never met John Mayer.

So did you hear the one about the guy who mailed himself from New York to his parent’s house in Dallas?

Yeah, you wish I made that up. The obvious question is WHY? Greyhound is CHEAP. Southwest is CHEAP. And apparently, stupidity is free….Making us look bad.

Ironically, the man was NOT arrested for his ignorant-anus stunt. NO, NO!!! He’s in jail on outstanding traffic violations and check fraud. So let me get this straight, I can steal a piece of gum and be charged with a misdemeanor (I didn’t do that by the way. Just using it as an example) but if I mail myself in a box and pose a security threat to HUNDREDS of people, I get off scott-free. RIIIIIGGGGHHHHHTTTTT!!!!

And finally…It has become an obsession. I have a 3’x5’ Union Jack flag hanging in my room. I bought it while I was on vacation. We will not talk about how I saluted the flag last night and ran around the house humming the British national anthem. It’s a sickness people. I can’t help it.

Shout outs to our new friend Centennial. I met her and her b/f Brandon in FL. She's adorable. If you get a chance, check out her website:

I Don't Think I'll ever Need to Listen to the Radio Again- Toya

For all of you old school fans, check out Canada's . It is AMAZING!!!! They have a gazillion radio stations and the BEST part is the Time Capsule section. You can listen to R&B from 1980-1984, 1985-1989, or all 80's. I feel like I am in seventh grade again. In the course of the day I heard, Luther, Shalamar, Yarborough and Peoples, Angela Winbush, The Jets, and Ray Parker Jr. I am telling you, this is the dopest ever! They even have a Power Ballads station! "Motorin'!..."

PS. I have a station on under damilove4. I listen to it at work when I need to be in a really chill mood. It is great because it is a station comprised of all of my absolute favorite songs so I never have to turn. It has Luther, Alexander O'Neal, Alana Davis, Seal, Jon B, Seal, Troop, Prince, John Mayer and a bunch of other great artists. Of course I had to throw in some power ballads from Mr. Big, Warrant, Winger and the Outfield. If you don't have a Launch station of your own, you need to get down.

Tuesday, September 9, 2003


I really was working. I was. And then John went and lost his mind and sang this:

I can tell you this much
I will marry just once
And if it doesn't work out
Give her half of my stuff
It's fine with me
We said eternity
And I will go to my grave
With the life that I gave
Not just some melody line
On a radio wave
It dissipates
And soon evaporates
But home life doesn't change

Home Life

John Mayer is either the most understanding man on the planet or the world's biggest playa/pimp. (My guess is the latter.) I say this because, in today's microwave society, divorce is almost expected. People get married with the idea of forever...if. And should that "if" occur, that's it. 48 hours later they're divorced. What happened to forever? So to hear someone say on the front end, "I'm only doing this once" is so refreshing....I'm sick. John, boo-boo, if you're reading, I will marry you "just once." I need you to go through this purple book (that's an inside thing) first but after that, it's 4-eva boo. Baby ride or die. Till death do us part.

In case you didn’t know, John’s new cd, Heavier Things, is out today. ($9.89 at Wally World.) Of course you know I had to pick it up before work. I was glad to see that I wasn’t alone. I was waiting for them to bring the box of cds in from the back with another JM junkie. When the clerk brought the cds, he gave one to the guy I was waiting with and then asked me which cd I was waiting on. He just KNEW I wasn’t waiting on the new John Mayer cd. How could I be? This is the ghetto Wal-Mart, complete with airbrushing station. I was OBVIOUSLY there for some sort of rap/hip-hop/r&b cd. The perplexed look on his face made my morning almost as much as New Deep (track 4 on Johnny’s cd.)

Anyway, you must, must, must obtain a copy of this cd. Don’t steal. Buy. And while you’re out, pick a copy of Level 42’s “Level Best.” (Story Forthcoming)

Sunday, September 7, 2003


I love my life. I like taking road trips out of town to go to a show or for any other reason without having to check with a significant other to see if it is okay with them. Why would anybody want to give that up?I get a little bored at times but what 20 something going towards their true destiny and purpose in life doesn't? However, as bored as I may get, there is rarely a dull moment in this house or in my life in general. I have the two best roommates in the world, I have a job which gives me free digital cable (VH1 Classics and VH1 Soul keeps me from giving my two weeks notice even though I am INSANELY bored at times), I am involved in a great church and my life seems to be one hilarious and continuous sitcom at times as if though I was the black Ally MacBeal.

So why am I all of the sudden having these thoughts of settling down? Honestly, I don't know. I had to face this while searching for a car this past Friday. Sidebar: Let me just say that this has been the worst summer EVER. I got in 2 car accidents (neither my fault) in a span of 3 months and now my car is totaled. The guy that totaled it has no insurance, has changed his phone number, and my insurance company can't find him because he lives in a trailor park and they don't have his lot number. Oh, but he's riding just fine in his car, isn't he? I, however, am taking the bus. Yeah, I am still a bit bitter. So anyway, this car dealer is really trying to swindle me and I am looking at the cars in the lot at this really sketchy car dealership around the way and I get into this crazy indecisive mode. Ever get so overwhelmed you feel dizzy and you just want to sit in the middle of the floor indian style and put your head in your hands, rock back and forth and start mumbling some ol' Rainman type gibberish? This feeling usually comes before one flips out. But instead of flipping out, I did something worse; Out of frustration, I uttered these forbidden words: "That's it. I need a boyfriend." Suddenly, I jumped back and looked around as if somebody said the president had just been shot. I then thought, "Whoa champ. You need to get yourself together right NOW." It is never until I have to make a decision about my car or something needs to get fixed in the house or I can't reach something in the kitchen that I start thinking about settling down. I don't need a boyfriend to help me make decisions and I can get a step stool to reach things in the kitchen. However, I do need to get over my issues with commitment and I just need to admit that some day faaaar from now, I would like to be married. I shouldn't be upset with myself for wanting something that is completely normal.

I am deathly afraid of commitment A few months ago I had developed a little crush on this guy at my church. He works with one of my friends and she was trying to set us up. At the time I was like, no way. I want no parts of that, but I finally admitted to being interested and she said she would find out if he had a girlfriend or not. Well one day, I was at the copy machine at work and I had this mental picture of us sitting across one another at Starbucks as if we were a couple. All of the sudden, I couldn't breathe! I got dizzy, my stomach got nauseous, and I had shortness of breath! I actually had a panic attack at the thought of commitment! I had to go sit down and put my head between my knees. I soon found out that he has a girlfriend and I was relieved...sort of.

I called my mom and told her that I didn't need to even be thinking about a relationship right now and that I was fine the way I was. My mom said,"No your not. You have been fine for 28 years. It's time." My brother, who I love to death even though he is CRAZY, told me the other day that I am "due". "You've been saving yourself for 28 years? Yeah, you're due. It's time."

I just started working at Starbucks and I saw that we were getting rid of come chocolate cheesecake muffins and I know Renee loves chocolate and cheesecake so I snatched one. I wrote a note on the fridge saying that this was just for her and put it in the refrigerator. Today, she told me that while she enjoyed it, she was thinking "Okay, Toya needs a man." Think about it: I leave cute and endearing notes on the refrigerator, I call her up to see how her day is going, I even give her gifts on Valentine's Day! And while I will willingly do this for Renee, Tia and the rest of my friends, I get queazy thinking about doing these things for one special person.

I was at a wedding this summer and can I tell you, nothing makes me more anti-commitment that weddings? Some women can't wait to get married after they leave someone's wedding. Oh not me. They start reciting those "forever vows" and man, I get all hot under the collar. Forever. The rest of your natural life. From now on. What?! At this particular wedding the minister recited this piece about what God's plan for us regarding marriage is:

Everyone longs to give himself or herself completely to someone, to have a deep and committed soul relationship with another, to be loved thoroughly and unconditionally. But God says:
No, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by Me alone, with giving yourself totally, unreservedly to Me alone.
I love you, My child, and until you discover that only in Me is your satisfaction to be found, you will not be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. You will never be united with another until you are united with Me; exclusively of anyone or anything else; exclusively of any other desires and belongings.
I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow Me to give you the most thrilling plan existing -- one that you can't imagine. I want you to have the very best. Please allow Me to bring it to you.
Just keep your eyes on Me, expecting the greatest things.
Keep experiencing that satisfaction knowing that I AM.
Keep learning and listening to the things I tell you.
You must be patient.
Don't be anxious. Don't worry.
Don't look around at the things others have.
Don't look at the things you think you want.
Just keep looking up to Me, or you will miss what I want to give you.
And then, when you are ready, I will surprise you with a love far more wonderful than you could ever dream. You see, until you are ready, and until the one I have for you is ready (I am working even this minute to have both of you ready at the same time), until you are both satisfied exclusively with Me and the life I have prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with Me .. and this is perfect love.

I heard him recite this and I thought "Bunk all that husband stuff, I want THAT! That is dope." I want a relationship with God that is everything like what he said. And while that is all good and all, it says in His word that it is not good for man to be alone and that He hasn't given us the spirit of fear. So I can act all holy and say, oh me and Jesus are just fine, but I know deep down inside, it's a front. Deep down, I think that I have to be somewhat perfect and a saint to get married. I know God has so much that He wants to do in me and to me I am soooo far behind. So anything that even smells like a relationship has me running like "No, I have debt. I can't clean out the bathtub before I leave the house and I always want things my way. You don't know what your're getting yourself into. Come back when I'm, perfect." I spend too much time trying to trust in myself and too little time trusting in God. Oh I can trust God for a car but I have a hard time trusting that He can change my heart, my imperfections, and make me strong enough to face one of my deepest fears: commitment. While God wants me to trust Him to fulfill all my needs, He also wants me to trust that He will send the right one in His time and that if I continue to trust and love Him, everything will just fall into place because I will be walking in obedience to Him.

A couple of days ago I made one of my wisecracking, sarcastic comments to Tia and she said "I cannot wait to see who your husband is going to be. Who will have to be the one to put up with that everyday." Truthfully, I can't wait either. I am a little nervous for the poor guy because I am a handful. However, while I am praying for courage and wisdom, I trust that God will send me someone who seeks Him and already possesses those qualities because he is going to need them. Also, I pray that he is a sound sleeper because I talk, snore and sometimes grit my teeth in my sleep. LOL!

Friday, September 5, 2003


Tia has left me for the weekend for a much needed vacation in Florida so we wish her well. Here's some news:

Listen to John Mayer's entire new album "Heavier Things" on MTV's Website . This will of course, soon be reviewed by either myself, Tia or Nicole I am sure. Fans will be glad to know that concert favorite "Something's Missing" which was also featured on the live CD/DVD has been included on this release. The CD hits stores Tuesday.

You don't really hate hip hop, come on. Maybe you are like me and get a little frustrated with what you see going on in hip hop but it is important to keep in mind that what we see in the mainstream is not the ONLY thing going on in hip hop today. Here are some links to where you can hear some great stuff:

Virtual Frequency- Virtual Frequency is a 24 hour internet radio station playing the best in positive, God-centered urban music today. Check the site for current articles, interviews, news updates and some great ol' school. You'll hear everything from GRITS to Mos Def to Mary Mary. They also have Cubicle Quizzes where you can win great prizes during the week, so check it out.

LA Symphony - LA Symphony has been one of my favorite groups for ages. My roommate Renee turned me onto them and the first time I heard their music, I literally cried because I had stopped listening to a lot of hip hop due to lyrical content. It was great to find something that I could listen to and not have to turn down around my parents or feel convicted that I was feeding my mind a lot of junk. If you like acts like Jurassic 5, Beatnuts, and the Pharcyde, check them out.

Mars Ill- Hands down, all around the best underground group now and for years to come. Okay, I am a little biased because Manchild (the emcee) is my favorite lyricists and DJ Dust has given me some really great DJing tips but I am telling you. If you miss hip hop that will make your head nod and make you want to dust your shelltoes off and get your Uprock on, check them out.

You can also check out LA Symphony and Mars Ill on Virtual Frequency as well as on

Wednesday, September 3, 2003

Nothin' but a Good Time...

YEAH BABY!!!!! 7th Row DEAD Center for POISON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am telling you, it was RIDICULOUS! This will make the second year in a row that Tia and I have seen Poison on Labor Day and I can't picture it getting any better.

I rode with our friends Kayleen (hey Big Mama) and Andy (hey, Big Daddy) and we picked up our tix from (thanks MTV) from Willcall. I had no idea where we were sitting so the closer we got to the front, the more my stomach started to hurt. When the usher led us to the floor, I heard Andy behind me go "Uh uh. No way. UH UH!!!!!" We got down to Row G and made our way to the center. I started counting on my fingers, "A-B-C-D-E-F-G!!!!G!!! 7!!!! Oh my goodness!!!!" I lost it, started jumping up and down, lost my whole entire mind. I called Tia because she wasn't to show up for about 2 hours and told her that she had to come and QUICK.

The reason Tia didn't show up was mainly because she got stuck helping her dad painting our townhouse. I get deathly ill from paint fumes and managed to get out of it and traveled with our friend Steven's punk band The Smartest Monkeys hoping to get some type of "Almost Famous" experience by interviewing them on the road. I hope to post something about that in the near future. Another reason was that she didn't want to see Skid Row without Sebastian Bach. Can you blame her? Grant it, hearing "I Remember You" is always a good time and I loved belting out "18 and Life" but I missed Sebastian. Vince Neil played after Skid Row and maaaaaaaan, I have loved "Home Sweet Home" since the 7th grade. I just could not believe it. He was amazing. I tried to picture the drummer as Tommy Lee but I just couldn't.

I got so bored without Tia being there because I missed the banter that ensues at nearly every occasion be it a run of the mill trip to Kroger or a concert event. Also, I really didn't have anybody to play "Count the Black People" with. Oh come on, BGLU's. Don't act like you've never done it. Last year we got up to 8 and this year was a whopping 16! There was a sista we saw last year who had her fist up in the air during the whole Winger set and she was their this year with her Poison t-shirt on to boot. She looked old enough to be one of our aunts. I wanted to walk up to her and say "On behalf of BGLU's everywhere, thank you. You have paved the way." There was a black couple in front of us that rocked out the entire show. I was praying "Lord, please let me marry a black man that will go with me to see Poison and not merely drop me off to meet Tia." But then I thought that this is Tia's and my thing and while I would love to smooch with my husband during "I Won't Forget You", I'd rather go with her anyday :O)

Tia got to the show after Vince Neil's set and said EXACTLY what I thought she would say:"Oh, one could throw panties on the stage from here!" I knew she was going to say that. I envisioned Bobby Doll getting hit upside his head with a pair a draws with phone numbers and e-mail addresses all over them. And of course as always, I had no camera.

They announced Poison and when the came out, I stood there in utter disbelief for about 2 minutes with my hands covering my mouth. I just could not believe it. I have been crazy about them since I was 12! We were so close, it was like they were playing in my living room. I could see every wrinkle and every bit of eyeliner. I could see Rikki, Bret, Bobby and CC and they could see me too thanks to the people in front of us who never came back. Brett even pointed to me and smiled during the show. I knew every song they sang and it was... I can't explain it. I really can't.

So I went into work the next day and told my co-worker at work how great it was and he goes "You're such a nerd." AND? As weird as it may seem, I have to praise God about the little things that give me such great,giggly joy: 80's teen movies, ice cream, flavored lip gloss, Iced Chai tea and a good old fashioned power ballad (preferably "Heaven" by Warrant); Tia's laugh, my mom's lemon meringue pie, my dad's off key singing and hearing Donnie Hathaway's "This Christmas" for the first time during the winter to let me know that Christmas and my birthday are right around the corner. Oh yeah and I can't forget listening to old 80's freestyle music like TKA and Sweet Sensation on a bright summer day with Renee in the car on the way back from Sonic on a full tank of gas; catching The System's "Don't Disturb This Groove", The Cure's "Just Like Heaven" or Stevie Wonder's "All I Do" from the beginning while changing channels on the radio; Oh and how giggly I get when I wake up on a Saturday morning with no responsibilty, and it's sunny and I am piled up in blankets smiling and talking to the Lord saying wacky stuff like "God, you're so cool. Why'd you make my feet so big? You know I'm crazy, right?" Then I just keep laughing like it's our own little joke. Okay, that's a huge overshare. My point is this: I often wish while I am enjoying these things that everyone in the world could find something that is entirely FREE that gives them not just joy but giggly joy. Like, a kid in Sesame Place joy. I don't care how old you are, find it and remember it. When you do, you'll never have to search for where to find your smile ever again.

Oh and I forgot another thing that makes me giggly happy, my new friend Jessica. She is so delightful. MMSMACK! Hope you are feeling better.
Whatever Happened To...CAMP LO!!!???

I am at this very moment listening to "Luchini" and I am like "What the? Why? Where? But...Aargh!" Does anybody remember the video they had that looked like an episode of Good Times and it had Thelma, the most beautiful girl EVER on TV in the video? That was amazing. And then, nothing.

I swear if I married the president this is what I would do: I would have a show on BET where we would have concerts at the White House. And I don't care what the beef AKA "artistic differences" were, you would have to perform or risk being audited or excommunicated. So Camp Lo would have to come out of hiding, Pete and Serch would need to go find DJ Richie Rich, Debarge would sing all their hits, El's hits, Bunny's HIT, and Switch's hits, and Steve Perry and Journey would just have to learn to get along (can you tell I have been thinking about this?)

I am not deep into the underground hip hop scene so I would not be surprised if they were doing something on the low. I just wish we could go back to a time where everyone was represented. Back in the day, we had gangsta rap with NWA and Ghetto Boys and Ice-T and the Rhyme Syndicate and we also had Tribe Called Quest, FuSchnickens and Kid 'n' Play. There was more variety being represented and everything didn't have to look like an Uncle Luke video.

So if anyone knows the whereabouts of Camp Lo, hit us up.

We might as well talk about it…

2003 MTV Video Music Awards- the BGLU recap by Toya

Each year, the VMA’s get worse and worse as music continues to get worse and worse. However, this year did not suck as badly as I expected. This was probably due to the delightful commentary of my co-host Tia. Had I been left alone to fend for myself watching the awards, I probably would have missed most of it. Let’s begin.

Least Shocking Moment: The Madonna/Xtina/Britney kiss. Yes, LEAST shocking. When Madonna came out as the groom I immediately thought to myself “They are going to make out.” Why? Because honestly, there is nothing else left for them to do. Michael, Madonna and Janet have pretty much done it all. Madonna arrived out of the wedding cake as if to say “These are my minions. I have discipled them in the ways of the wicked. Love them, embrace them, but don’t forget who started this @*!%”.

Most Shocking Moment: Eminem shaking Justin Timberlake’s hand. Remember when Eminem had that song that talked about Nsync and Backstreet Boys and it went “And I can’t wait to see all you faggots in public.”? Is he really a kinder, gentler, under anger management Eminem? Or is it all an act? This question is rhetorical of course. It didn’t take us watching 8 Mile for me to know that Eminem has acting skills.

Most Welcomed Return: Tie- Duran and Duran and Chris Rock. Chris Rock hands down gave the best monologue in years by simply saying what we most of us have been thinking all along: how in the world do you call yourself having an awards show and yet you don’t show any videos. They need to stop playin’.

Seeing Duran Duran together almost made me cry but my tears of joy were interrupted by a fit of rage when their tribute went a wry. Sure, we can make sure that 50 Cents bigger than life size goblet gets on stage in time but we can’t pay a fitting tribute to the Godfathers of music video. Shame, shame. As always, John Taylor looked hot and Andy Taylor didn’t look so bad either. Umm, anybody know how I can get my makeup to look as tight as Nick Rhodes? Golly dang!

The Inevitable “Moment that made us almost too ashamed to be black”- Snoop Dogg’s girls on leashes. We loved when Kurt Loder turned to him and said, “What’s your deal?” We know we all were thinking the same thing.

My Personal Favorite Moment of the entire show: Justin dancing to “Get Low” by Lil’ Jon. I normally HATE songs like this. I don’t know what I’ll do if I hear one more song telling me to drop that, shake that, move that, or whatever. However, my cousins love this song and whenever I hear it I think of them and it makes me smile. Anyway, when they cut to Justin and he had that “Aww shucks, don’t stop, get it, get it!” look on his face, I lost it.

Most Overexposed Celebrity of the Night: Hate to say it but Justin Timberlake. Next time, just give him a Justin cam or have him give commentary during the show. MTV seemed to be too interested in what his reactions were. I did however enjoy his reaction that said “Yall see this foolishness?” when Britney came out.

Best Performance of the Night: I wish I could say Coldplay, but I zoned out and missed a good part of it. Surprisingly, I enjoyed Xtina’s performance although I wouldn’t even watch her when we went to see the Justified and Stripped tour in Atlanta. Regardless of how she acts, that girl can sing. I thought she did a great job.

Funniest “wasn’t supposed to be funny” moment: Beyonce’ getting caught up in her own weave. I am no hater, in fact I am definitely a Beyonce’ fan. Being from New Jersey, I know how humid it can get. I kind of felt sorry for her but laughed myself silly nonetheless.

Celebrity We Felt Most Embarrassed For: Kelly Osbourne. You could hear crickets while she and Avril were onstage with Duran Duran. She tried to be witty, but what can you do? She’s British, we’re not.

Celebrity We Are Most Proud Of: ODB AKA Dirt McGirt. Grant it, when they showed him on the red carpet, he looked heavily sedated. Nonetheless, he didn’t make a scene like the infamous Grammy “Wu Tang is for the children” fiasco. We are so proud of you, ODB. “Down with dope, up with hope”, “hugs not drugs”, yeah, all that.

Moment that rendered us speechless: Missy Elliot’s “Caddyshack meets Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory” get up. When they showed her, Tia and I let out a simultaneous “Wow.” We couldn’t say much else. That was so very…special.

Most Missed Celebrity- While we are still missing Jam Master Jay, Aaliyah and Johnny Cash who could not appear because of he was suddenly rushed to the hospital earlier this week, our most missed celebrity this year was God. Yes, God. If you noticed, not even Beyonce' thanked God. Although He was on the guest list, it was pretty clear by this year's VMA circus of debauchery from the gay, threesome wedding to the Pimps Up Hoes Down reunion held on stage by 50 Cent and Snoop Dogg, God was nowhere to be found by the human eye at the VMA's. While we usually roll our eyes when celebrities walking the fine line of immorality thanked God, it was nice to hear His name. Maybe they are getting the hint that He is just simply not pleased.

So there you have it, our recap. We want to hear your thoughts as well so let the games begin.

An Annex

Toya touched on Chris Rock's monologue, which I must say was one of the wittiest that I've heard in recent years. But I have to reference a particular comment. Without a doubt, the BEST repartee of the night was, and I quote, "Good Charlotte...? More like a mediocre Green Day."

Chris Rock, I offer kudos and homage for your persiflage. You made my night worthwhile.
No Need for Hateration, Holleration in This Dancery...

If you have been reading the site for the past couple of days, you are aware of a recent debate we had with a few of Tia's former classmates about some things that offended them about our site. After reading the site today, I realized that things had gotten WAY too serious. What happened to the fun? I honestly started to get self conscious about things that I wanted to post in fear that some people would feel like "Oh, well she is just posting James Blake as Boyfriend of the Week to prove something" or whatever. So I have removed the whole debate from Tia's and my posts to the comments sections themselves.

We will however post an email from Tone, a brotha from Queens who took the time to write us his opinion about how he saw the whole situation. This was not only quite insightful but a relief. Truth be told, the only opinions about this site that really, really mean anything to us is that of black men. We know we got a lot of white boys on this site and trust us, we will have a lot more. Still at no time do we want black men to feel unappreciated, slighted, offended, or disrespected. We would sooner shut this site down.

So even if you missed the whole mini drama, read Tone's email. It's quite fresh.

Email from Tone in Queens, NY:

Man, everyone is picking on Tia lol. Tell Tia I said that I love her (I don’t know her though lol).

Nah but seriously, it’s probably a culture clash going on with the posters at your site. I’m not surprised because the issue of black “pride” is a very sensitive topic with a lot of people. Inside and out. We’re the only people in America who were NEVER supposed to have pride...historically, and it goes on in our “American” culture even today. We’re the only people who have a history of being “seasoned” to look up to white people in every aspect of our lives. We’re supposed to revere them, think they are “the beautiful” people, pattern our lives,looks,views and speech after them, learn about them in school and basically pay attention to them more than others. Love them, not ourselves. This has gone on for so long until it is a very sensitive topic and it stirs up deep feelings for most people.....especially if they’re in the “trenches” everyday. Just look at the emotion being showcased on the poor weblog.

On the other hand, they have to understand that your reality is very different from their’s. We were all raised in different families and taught different things and different ways. Based on location (a lot of times) we listened to different music and wore different clothes. So I think that they must tap into y’all’s (bglu) reality and understand it from your perspective. I was watching the news and I saw the memorial service participants all in the streets for Cecilia Cruz. I mean, thousands upon thousands of people were out there. I couldn’t believe it! But that just went to show me, someone else’s reality of New York City is TOTALLY different from mine. I mean these people were lined up from Harlem to the Bronx. That was bigger than Jam Master Jay, Biggie and Aaliyah’s put together. I had no idea. But like I said, if someone told me that she was that famous the day b4 I would have been skeptical.

So anyways, I think that because we are a people who are at war with ourselves (not by mistake) we tend to get very emotional about our stances or even the lack there of. I wish that more people could be TOGETHER on the issues that they agree about and AGREE TO DISAGREE on the topics that they don’t agree on. That’s how we become unified and make strides. I hate to see people fighting the WRONG battles with the wrong people as the target. It’s almost like how NO civil rights leader would say anything bad personally about another civil rights leader. And they disagreed plenty! Lastly, the stance that I take is that I understand where both parties are coming from. I don’t agree or disagree with everything anyone was saying. BUT, I do think that people should abide by the rules of the site and if they have a personal beef then email Tia personally and voice it. I don’t want to read that as a poster if I identify with BGLU. I just want to be entertained by the site. Man! on one hand, pop culture does the most damage to the black image of anything else. It’s just like the media. Crime went down in the black community by 20% in 2001 and media coverage of crimes in the black community went up by 600%. What does that tell us? The most illegal guns and illegal drugs are far more a problem in the suburbs. But for some reason we’re the scapegoat for “white” america’s fears. As long as they can come home from a hard days work and see one of us being brought to justice, they feel secure. When, at the same time, for every ONE crime that goes on in the inner-city, statistics say that there are 17 in the suburbs by the youth. But we don’t know this of course. Thus you felt you had to lock your doors when you saw “me” coming down the street basically. The music industry in NO exception. Pop culture is at the helm of it. They always go out and fund the 50’s and the Snoops of the world. The image gets shattered like crazy! Thus I get pulled over every other week.

So when you’re in the trenches of that reality, being misrepresented, it’s hard to look to pop culture as something that even respects “us”. After all, we (the positive artists) outweigh negative artists by a landslide! Also, we (who are not criminals or who don’t act like 50) outweigh the 50’s by far! Although 50 (who’s from my neighborhood) has a story to tell as well. It’s actually not his fault that the media and music biz are over-exposing our people who are in his shoes. It’s capitalism for them...the violence is selling. To fight 50 is to fight the wrong enemy in my opinion. There is a system at work behind it all. At the same time, it’s just entertainment (although it shapes the minds of many) and justin timberlake CAN sing, and Thicke is talented, and Poison is a great band. Their music is to be celebrated as well. Especially if you came up on it. Or if that’s “home” for someone.

I’m all for BGLU because it DOES represent another side of who we are.

It represents a way of thinking in America by some African American women. It’s truthful and it has integrity. How can you dispute that? But being that we still suffer from America’s dark past (and present) and “they” benefit from it (and from us), it will be a HOT HOT HOT topic to some people. Hell, when the president of the United States of America’s father is an ex-president who was also in charge (CIA) of the harassment, death threats and death of a man such as Martin Luther King Jr, a man after God’s own heart, something’s wrong. And that’s the household the President grew up in?

OUR DAY TO DAY STRUGGLES AS BLACK PEOPLE (in our psyches) IS A VERY VERY SERIOUS THING. I just hope we can learn about and respect each other’s up bringings and positions. Different people have different realities. There’s a lot of misdirected anger going on with the site’s posters.