Friday, August 29, 2003

Happy Birthday Michael Jackson!!!!!

I LOVE Michael Jackson. When he showed up on this year's BET Awards unexpectedly, I screamed like he was in the room. I don't care what you MJ haters say, I would marry him on the spot.

Thinking of Michael Jackson, I remember when I was a little girl and I would spend my Saturdays in my living room playing records and 8-tracks. I would always play Off the Wall and if you remember, the record folded out into a full length picture of MJ. Well, I would play the record and we would dance and when the duet with Patti Austin came on, we would sing together. Yes, I was crazy even then.

These are my top 5 favorite Michael Jackson songs not including Jackson Five songs because it would take me a month to narrow it down to 5:

1) Get On the Floor from Off the Wall OH MY GOODNESS!!!!! The whole album is amazing but this one just makes me want to never stop dancing.
2) Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough from Off the Wall- really needs no explanation. I remember sitting in my car one day before I made it a point to keep the CD in the car and staying in the driveway until it went off. I couldn't stop dancing. Then I went into the house,looked around to make sure I was alone and continued dancing for a good 5 minutes as if the song was still on.
3) Baby Be Mine from Thriller- Underrated.
4) Lady In My Life from Thriller We all know that there are some funky allegations against MJ regarding his sexuality. I have never been swayed. You cannot sing a song like this with this much passion and not love women, it's impossible.
5) Butterflies from Invincible I didn't think that MJ could turn out another classic so late in the game but this is right up there with the rest. I still get all warm and silly when I hear it.

Clown Mike if you want to but I better never see you dancing to ABC, I Want You Back or Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' if you do. We can't forget how integral MJ's music has been to the very fabric of our culture. The MUSIC, not the persona. Music just wouldn't be the same without him.

Wednesday, August 27, 2003

They say I'm hopeless
By Tia

I’m not a girly-girl. I never have been. I spent my formative years shunning make-up, skirts, and all things pink. I’ve only recently come to terms with the fact that skirts are okay. (I actually wear them willingly…with shell-toed Adidas. Don’t get it twisted I still have some tomboy in me.)

As a person who prided herself on being just as tough as most of the boys, you can imagine how shaken I felt when I discovered this little tidbit about myself: I Like Romance. (gasp!!!!) Not the Harlequin, kissy face, smut kind of romance. I’m talking the real thing. I grew up without my dad around, so a lot of things that dads typically do fell to my mother. Well, if all you see is a strong WOMAN then that’s what you mirror. I just assumed women were SUPPOSED to do everything. I didn’t know how boys were supposed to act. So when the boys did start coming around in junior high and high school I just figured the way they acted was NORMAL. I had the thugs and the roughnecks (Gotta who, gotta have a what?? Gotta watch out, gotta getta roughneck) in my early dating life. And just to clarify, roughnecks come in all colors. They didn’t open doors. They didn’t bring flowers, chocolates or trinkets of adoration. There were no kissy face love notes. But I always knew they had my back. If someone needed to be “handled” my boo took care of it. That was enough for me. The girls who were obsessing because Bobby didn’t get them flowers for their 3-week anniversary were Uber-Losers in my book and needed to be destroyed.

But as I got older I started to realize that there was more to a relationship than the knowledge of knowing someone would go to blows for you. Which, I am in no way trying to make light of. If my man won’t defend me then he’s not a man and he’s not mine. Anyway, I tried to ignore it. I chalked my feigned indifference up to being “tough.” Tough girls don’t want flowers. Tough girls open their own doors. Tough girls spit in the general direction of Valentine’s Day. I assumed that wanting the romantic aspects of a relationship would make me weak. And tough girls by their very definition do not show weakness.

I finally had to stop faking the funk. It all came to a head last week. (Last week was a pretty eventful week…) I love to cook. I wish I had more time to do it. I bake cookies that keep the people talking. (Thanks for the recipe, Megan) I get what cooking skills I have from my momma. My momma can burn. Literally. (Guess who started the kitchen fire?) Anyway, I’m always bribing the IT guys at work. I learned a long time ago that if you want guys to do something for you they move a lot faster with food in them. I took my favorite IT guy, let’s call him Fozzy, some brownies. The IT department was having a rough time with the viruses that ran through last week and I figured food would cheer Fozzy up. He was on the phone so I wrote him a note to tell him there were brownies in the crude looking foil sitting on the corner of his desk. I was on my way out when he grabbed me, pulled me close, kissed my cheek and gave me the “I’m really grateful and would otherwise say so, but I’m on hold with Dell so that your computer won’t eat every drug shipment order that comes in” look. Now I don’t want to come across as some attention starved chick. But I’m not going to lie. I was really touched. There is something about being appreciated that really strikes a cord deep within. (FYI: To my knowledge Fozzy is not feeling me “like that.”) As I walked away that’s when it hit me. I like knowing that I’m appreciated, that I’m valued just for being me. And ultimately, that’s what romance is. It’s knowing that the person you’re giving your all to extols you. It’s not all flowers and chocolates and lambs and crap like that. Romance is knowing your thoughts, your feelings, your dislikes and your idiosyncrasies are not only noted but also taken into consideration when decisions are made. A friend of mine’s girlfriend’s birthday is today. Her favorite number is 27…I don’t know he did 27 special things for her throughout the day. Some were big, some were small, but all of them were significant. Needless to say, she was floored. The fact that he got her quality writing pens because as a nurse she writes a lot made him look terribly thoughtful…and a teeny bit sexy. And it also showed that he’d taken the time to get to know her AND her needs. That, dear reader, is romantic.

The dictionary defines romance as an “ardent emotional attachment or involvement between people.” Ardent attachments aren’t formed over night. You have to take the time to get to know someone before you can know how to romance them. So maybe that’s why I love romance so much. Knowing that someone took the time to get to know me, the girl who is a total dork, and still wants to know me more is without question romantic. I love the fact that someday someone is going to be thinking about me and thinking about ways they can let me know they care for me, even though I have a big head and idiotic tendencies.

So call me hopeless…as a penny with a hole in it. I’ll be that. If being hopeless means that I want my man to value me, then color me pathetic. I’m okay with being a hopeless romantic. It’s easier than being a jaded cynic. Trust me.
I have theme music. Why? B/c I’m a bad chick. Remember in I’m Gonna Get You Sucka!when the little kid asked the hero, whose name escapes me at the moment, who the guys in the band were? The hero type person answered, “They’re my theme music. Every good hero should have some.” The same goes for all BGLUs. You know there is a song that defines you whether it’s b/c the words are written about you to a “t” or b/c the song is just super fierce and demands, much like yourself, to be recognized. Whatever the case, every BGLU needs theme music. So your assignment is this: Go out and find the song that defines you, even if it’s only defining you for the moment. When you find it, play it LOUD and OFTEN. Roll down your windows and sing it at the top of your lungs. Download it to your I did. (If you’re looking for hot ring tones, check out They have e’rythang). Let the people know, you are a BGLU. They need to know who they’re dealing with.

Tia’s theme song until…further notice:

Beyonce – Crazy In Love
I don’t care what you think about the girl, that song is RIDICULOUS. (In a good way) And in case you were wondering, NO, I’m not in love. I just think the song is bad-anus.

Tuesday, August 19, 2003

My Stupid Mouth
By Tia

Is it possible to make an A** of oneself more than once in a 72 hour period? The answer is a resounding YES!!! I have a mild case of foot-n-mouth disease. For those of you unfamiliar with the illness, it’s a condition that renders the victim completely agile and flexible with the final outcome being one’s foot lodged squarely and securely in one’s mouth. Side effects of this disease include but are not limited to: embarrassment, either to the sufferer of the disease, to anyone unfortunate enough to witness disease, or to both, anger (again, to either party), revelation of the sufferer’s ignorance to all within earshot, and the occasional possibility of physical violence inflicted upon the sufferer.

I thought I had rid myself of this dreaded infirmity. Sadly, it was only lying dormant. And like a bad penny, it turned up again. Much to my chagrin, it’s flared up twice in the last few days. And also to my chagrin, there was very little I could do about it. By the time I figured out I’d had an outbreak it was too late.

Over the weekend I went out with a group of friends to a fairly nice eating establishment. It was the culmination to a fairly full Saturday. There were a few new faces along with some old friends and I was prepared to settle in for what I perceived to be an uneventful evening. I should have known better. I won’t go into all of the gory details. But I will say that I somehow managed to say something that not only offended the host of the gathering but her British companion and my roommate as well, while simultaneously causing the three to feel terribly awkward. To make people feel awkward and offended at the same time takes skill. And for some reason there are times when this skill is mine with little to no effort. A dubious honor indeed.

The second recurrence of the disease was not so much offensive as it was embarrassing. Let me set this up for you. I have a teeny crush on a boy. Crushes in my eyes are pretty much pointless. At this juncture in life wasting affections on numerous people is silly and usually fruitless. What’s the point? I understand that there will be the occasional attraction, but it just seems like a waste of time in the long run. Maybe it’s because I’m at a point where I would much rather bestow my affection on ONE person ALL of the time. But I’m only human and I’m a girl. And as such, my DNA states that I will fancy a boy from time to time. Anywho….

There is a boy. A boy I work with. A boy who I will not describe any further because there is a chance this may make its way back to him. Today, one of my co-workers asked for said boy’s extension. A request, mind you, that’s not all that unheard of. It actually made sense to ask me. People have seen the boy and I talking. The woman that asked for the boy’s number has seen us go to lunch together. So it’s not like I COULDN’T fulfill the request. (Truth be told, I DIDN’T know the number. I usually just e-mail him.) But when one feels exposed one tends to allow grace and tact to fly out the window, hence, my reaction. Instead of simply providing the requested information, this was my response, “I don’t know!!! Why would I know his number? I mean I know who he is, but that’s about it. I mean, we’ve hung out once or twice but that’s it!!!!!” The guy in the cube next to me turned around and said, “You like insert boy’s name here!” Of course there was fervent denial on my part, which only served as further ammunition for my accuser. Looking back in hindsight I realize that had I kept either my cool or my mouth shut the situation would have played out much differently and I would have been allowed to let this “twiterpation” run it’s course. Instead, I must now be subjected to the taunting of a guy who is the youngest child in his family and is discovering what it means to have a little sister to torment. Thanks F-n-M.

There is no cure for this disease. But you can suppress it with advance treatment and therapy. For those of you who suffer from this debilitating illness here are a few helpful hints.
1.Shut Up!!!! You can’t get anything in your mouth, foot, stupid comment or otherwise, if it’s closed.
2.Learn how to be a listener. You don’t always have to be in the conversation. Believe it or not, other people may have something to say.
3.Think before you speak. Brain Filters are gooooood.
4.If all else fails, bite your lip. You’ll either be concentrating so hard on figuring out how to do this without looking stupid or be in so much pain that you won’t have a chance to say something that you’ll later regret.

My hope is that this is the last time I will be forced to deal with this unsightly idiosyncrasy. But I’m human and as such inherently flawed. The odds of me saying the perfect thing, at the perfect time, for the rest of my life are highly unlikely. All I can do is try to slow down the Gray Matter Train before it runs aground in the City of Mouth. And if perchance, I’m unable to stop the carnage, I can do everything in my power to make things right.

Martin, if you’re still reading, please forgive me for being such a wanker.

Monday, August 18, 2003

Because we were little girls once too
By Tia

Is anyone else remotely concerned about our girls? By girls I don’t mean your homies, your sistahs, you road dogs. I’m talking about your little sister, your niece, your daughter; the little girl that LOVES Lizzie McGuire and all things pink and glittery.

For the past few months, I’ve had a growing sense of apprehension in regards to the ‘tween and teen demographics. For those of you who don’t have anything to do with anyone under the age of 21, the definition of ‘tween is as follows: anyone who falls into the highly sought after age group of 9-12. Basically, ‘tween as in “between” child and teenager. The term is generally used in reference to girls. Apparently, marketing companies have found that loyalties run deep if instilled early. Thus, shows like Lizzie McGuire and toys like Bratz are being heavily pushed in the under 13 market. They have to spend that babysitting money somewhere. It might as well be on Lizzie pens, Aaron Carter bed sheets and Samantha Mumba cds. And if the name Lizzie McGuire does not ring a bell check out the Disney Channel sometime.

I spend a lot of time with the under 18 set. I mentor a little girl who just turned 14 and I volunteer with my church youth group. I also refuse to grow up and as such I spend more time than anyone without children should, watching the Disney Channel. If you’re looking for me on a Friday night odds are I’m with the youth group until about 11. After that you can find me in the club…I’m just playing. I’m at the crib because the Disney lineup from 12:00-1:30 is as follows: The Proud Family, Kim Possible and That’s So Raven. I can’t help it. I love kiddie programming. Anyway, the more I watched the more I got to thinking about my own ‘tween and teen years. And the more I thought the more concerned I became. Something was bothering me but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. So I began to observe. At the mall, at concerts, even at church. I began to take a long hard look at my little sisters and that’s when it hit me. Our little girls are growing up WAY TOO FAST. Don’t believe me? Take a look around. Go to the mall and count how many girls under 18 you see with a thong hanging out. Or ask you 8-year-old niece to sing “Ignition” or “In Those Jeans” or “Signs of Love Making.” And don’t think she won’t be able to do it. (And contrary to popular belief, it is NOT cute when little girls sing grown anus songs. Fast acting girls are not cute.)

I understand that our culture is ever evolving toward the grossly uninhibited state. (That may be a bit much. But I heard a**hole and god****it on basic cable yesterday at 8:30, so I’m not too far off.) But there is just something not right about a little girl who can’t even spell Sagittarius singing about all the freaky things that they can do. I also realize that little girls want to emulate the things they see in pop culture. That was okay for us. We were trying to be Wonder Woman, anyone of the sisters from the Jets and Jem. Or if you were like me, you wanted to be a Misfit…."cause we’re the Misfits/our songs are better/we are the Misfits (the Misfits)/and we’re gonna get her." If you don’t remember the Jem and the Holograms theme song you are not down. But most of the “role models” of today will have your little one looking, talking and dressing like a HO. Yeah, I said it. Lil’ Kim, Mya, Brittany and Christina, excuse me Xtina. (I didn’t make that up. At her concerts she sells posters with Xtina scrawled across the top.) Do you really want to explain to your 10-year-old why Lil’ Kim can make a can disappear in her mouth? Can you stomach the idea of that sweet little girl next door dressing like “Wo”? Don’t think she’ll do it. Think about when Brittany first hit the scene. How many girls did you see running around in that Catholic schoolgirl outfit? You didn’t think that many girls went to Catholic school, did you? Or think about how many people had that T-Boz hair cut. (Some of y’all had that cut.)

Human beings instinctively emulate what they are inundated with. Hitler knew it. Pharaoh knew it. Slave traders knew it. If you tell a group of people something enough times and cut off anything that opposes your ideals, eventually you’ll bend said groups’ mindset to your way of thinking. It’s basically divide and conquer. Our little girls are being divided from their innocence, their morals and their childhood and being conquered by destructive misogynistic lies? Why? As my hairdresser so tactfully put it, “Because we don’t give a f*** about our kids.” We let them do what they want, say what they want and wear what they want. (Yesterday, I saw a little girl who was no more that 13-years-old wearing a shirt that read “Where the hos at?” While we’re looking for people, where was yo’ mamma at when you put that shirt on?) Then we have the brazen audacity to be shocked when we see an 8-year-old drop it like it’s hot.

What a lot of us don’t realize is that we have the most say in what goes on in these girls’ lives. As parents, big sisters, aunties or just simply friends, we have a PROFOUND impact on the choices these girls make. If we mirror behavior that says, “I’m a queen” so will they. If we make wise decisions for them (and for ourselves) when they’re young, when they’re old enough to make their own decisions they’ll make wise ones. If we teach them that their bodies are not amusement park rides, everyone doesn’t get a turn, then we won’t have to worry about teaching our 14-year-old daughter how to breastfeed. If we don’t tell them they’re special, some knucklehead boy, who wants to get in their pants, will. We have to be the ones to explain to them that for others to respect you, you have to first respect yourself. We’re responsible for telling them that everyone is NOT doing it. Even though our kids spend more hours away from us than with us, at the end of the day our voices are the loudest. They can’t know WHO they are until they know WHOSE they are.

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future
As I (Tia) sat and watched “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” this weekend, something struck me. There are BGLUs from waaaaaaay back. I don’t know why I assumed that because we coined the name we started the trend. There are some sistahs out there who have been doin’ they thang and doin’ it well for a minute. So in honor of the forerunners of our movement, I've decided to periodically pay homage to some of the women who paved the way for you and I.

Tina Turner

Lest we forget, Tina Turner has been through some stuff. She married the devil himself and managed to come out looking like an angel. Tina set the world on its ear with “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” She went from a no-named little girl from Nutbush, Tennessee to R&B anthem singer (You can’t tell me that you do sing the mess out of River Deep, Mountain High and Fool In Love when they come on.) to Rock & Roll Diva. Her duet with Mick Jagger at Live Aid is easily one of the greatest performances of all time. And through it all she remains the epitome of class and style. So Tina, we thank you for putting your thing down and letting us know that black girls rock too.

Friday, August 15, 2003

Straight Crush on a Queer Guy- by Toya

Last night I was dead set on being productive. Really I was. I was going to finish up some laundry, do some reading and get to bed. That’s a pretty easy decision to make during rerun season. Usually when I am in the house alone, I need to turn on the TV for background noise and “Queer Eye for a Straight Guy” was on. I had no intention on being sucked in but before I knew it, my feet were propped up and the TV had my full attention. I did manage to multi-task however in the midst of my laziness. I managed to do my laundry and soak my newly pierced belly button in salt water while lying on the couch.

For sometime I couldn’t watch anything with flamboyant gay men because I worked in a hair salon while living in New Jersey. These men were gay with a vengeance. I remember when “The Birdcage” came out with Robin Williams and I couldn’t get past 5 minutes of it because I had just come home from a full day at work and had been subjected to a live, somewhat reality-TV version of The Birdcage all day long. I had no desire to hear the phrases “fabulous” and “to die for” for the umpteenth time in the safety of my own home. As much as I love The Isaac Mizrahi Show now (I just recently wasted away on the couch watching a whole marathon of it on the Oxygen Network), I don’t think I would have been able to watch it back then.

Last night’s episode had the Fab Five as they are now called, makeover an LA cowboy who wanted to propose to his live-in girlfriend. If you aren’t familiar with the show, each member of the Fab Five contributes in their area of expertise: food and wine, wardrobe, grooming, interior decorating and social and cultural skills. They range in age as well as personality. There are Ted and Thom, who I would never guess were gay if they weren’t on the show. Kyan, of whom I would be a little suspicious. Carson, who is so ostentatious I swear he is Joan Rivers’ missing fraternal twin. And finally, the object of my current crush, Jai, who is somewhere in the middle. Okay, he is leaning more to the obvious side but he is so fly that when Tia saw him she stopped in her tracks and said, “Oh…he almost made me cuss.” When Jai was instructing the LA cowboy on his social and cultural skills, he gave him all of these amazing ideas of how to show the woman he loves that she was special. He taught him how to say, “I love you” in her native Armenian language. I yelled at the television “Why would you not want to do that for a woman? What did we do? Can’t you see you are just in denial?” I remember feeling this way about Rupert Everett and another celebrity who hasn’t officially come out of the closet yet but is also homosexual. I remember vehemently denying that either of them was gay even after Rupert Everett said he was. I just cannot accept that there are men this sensitive and amazing in the world that are absolutely not available to women. What on earth do they see in each other?

Remember when you did not know what gay was? If you are between the ages of 25 and 32, you may. I was reminded of this most recently when Nicole and I went into a vintage shop downtown where they had quite a bit of 80’s memorabilia. As we walked in, there were two young gay guys behind the counter, one who said to fashionably chic Nicole “Nice hat, girlfriend.” Then he quickly propped himself up on the counter and looked at Nicole’s feet to make sure that she had matched her hat with the appropriate shoes, nodded with approval and sat back behind the counter. I was in hog heaven when I saw that they had 80’s rock pins, two for a dollar. While I was frantically looking for a Duran Duran pin, which I luckily found, I came across a Wham! pin. “Who’s that guy next to George Michael?” This kid was obviously in his early twenties. “That’s Andrew Ridgeley. He and George Michael had a group called Wham! in the mid-eighties.” I turned to Nicole and said, “How did we not know George Michael was gay?” Nicole shrugged. I then had a flashback of Wham!’s “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” video where George was parading around the stage in a fluorescent hot pink sweatshirt and a pair of banana yellow crotch cutter shorts. I remember his perfectly feathered hair and how he shook his toukus as he begged, “Take me dancing tonight.” I remember that I was confused about him having earrings in both ears. “How did you not know?” the style inspector kid behind the counter, who I found out didn’t even work there but was just visiting, asked. “He is so obviously a gay boy.” “Well,” I replied shyly, “We just thought he was… British”. He laughed dead in our faces and so did his friend, who was on the phone and actually worked there. When you think about it, as a kid, you didn’t really know what gay was. Boy George to me was not gay. He was just a peculiar boy who liked to dress up in women’s clothing because he was British and over there you could get away with stuff like that. I had no idea that he liked men! Not only did he like men, he was dating the drummer! The one I liked! (I am reading this to Tia who has just let out a big, angry “ME TOO !!!”).

A few weeks ago I wrote a piece about men and what I love about them most-their masculinity. So I didn’t quite understand why I was so smitten with Jai. Now I know that while I love the “aargh aargh” side of men, their sensitive,feminine side (not to be confused with an “effeminate” side) can sometimes be just as attractive. And even though some men hide this so deeply that it will never be seen in public, there is still a type of male sensitivity that even the most macho straight men possess that is second to none. Last night, when they were done making over the cowboy and were recapping the day, this fine, rugged hunk of man broke down and cried tears of joy and happiness. He was so overcome by the love he had for his girlfriend and by the joy he felt because he could provide her with the most magically romantic night, that he cried. It was the most manly, masculine thing I had seen on the entire show. So while Jai is cute as a button, I’d take a guy like the cowboy any day of the week. Anyway, I don’t really have a choice because once again, Jai is without a doubt, a "queer guy".

Of course he could really be straight and is just doing this to get a name in Hollywood kind of like that actress on Felicity that turned out to be, like 36. Oh forget it!

Tuesday, August 12, 2003


What is this, a holiday????!!!!!!!!!

My wonderful roommate Tia tried to keep Dave Grohl's wedding from me as long as possible but I ran across it in People today anyway. Dave Grohl was actually going to be this week's Boyfriend of the Week. I've loved me some Dave since Nirvana's "Lithium" video, you know, back when he wouldn't say much. Before he was real hot. When NO ONE was checking for him. Yeah, that was me. I saw the potential even then but noooooo. Sidebar: Doesn't Dave Grohl favor Ross (Dave Schwimmer) from Friends in some odd, ungeeky type way? Let's discuss.

Two weeks back, Donald Faison was the Boyfriend of the Week. Little did I know that he was married with 5 CHILDREN. You know when you get to 5 they are no longer called children but "CHURREN". DANG! The rule is that Boyfriend's of the week have to be single. Because if they weren't, this brother would be up EVERY WEEK...

"Lord, if you SO bless me..."

Monday, August 11, 2003

SLAM THE MAN!!!! your own risk
Tia’s Conundrum

Does anyone know why Aaron Carter is a pimp? What is he like 13 or something? Where in the world does a KID get game like that? We know it wasn’t from his brother.

This week’s People revealed that A.C was dating ‘tween queen Hillary Duff while simultaneously wooing Lindsay Lohen, star of Freaky Friday and The Parent Trap. Apparently, the claws have come out.

And if that wasn’t bad enough, several months ago, A.C. caused quite a stir when he showed up at a photo shoot for Vanity Fair featuring some of today’s hottest female stars under 18 to visit then girlfriend Hillary Duff. It turns out Aaron had previously dated SEVERAL of the girls present. (The article didn’t say whom.) He caused such a ruckus that Duff threatened to leave the shoot and Aaron was subsequently asked to leave. Who told him he was that fine?

I guess I just want to know why he’s that fashionable? He can’t drive you anywhere, his songs are relatively WHACK and he’s obviously not that slick if the girls found out about his dating escapades. Maybe it’s the blond hair or the pretty boy smile. Whatever it is, he is working it. Maybe he can give his big bro some tips.

Sunday, August 10, 2003

The world just got a lot less classy. We love you Gregory Hines!

Friday, August 8, 2003

Toya's Boyfriend of the Week...
Matthew "Good Googa Mooga" McConaughey

"HOT DAAAAYUUUUMN!! It's a new day!"- Pharrell Williams, Neptunes

I have had it bad for Matthew McConaughey for quite some time now. I was watching BET’s Comic View (back when it was good) and Sheryl Underwood was talking about him in a Time To Kill. “That white boy looked good!” she shouted and the women in the audience applauded. I said, “Wait a minute. And I am not privy to who this is?” So I had to do some research.

There is a certain fever that comes over me when I watch “The Wedding Planner”. Ever like someone so much that you can’t stand them ala “You walk city, you talk city and you make me sick.” (Thicke, “When I Get You Alone”)? In his case it would be “you walk country, you talk country” either way he still makes me sick and I wouldn’t be leavin’ until he was leavin’. Under no circumstances am I allowed to see this man on the street because I would surely run up on him.

5 Things to Know About Matthew “Good Googa Mooga” McConaughey:

1. McConaughey was born in Uvalde, Texas November 4, 1969. Anybody from Uvalde? Are there more like him there? We need to know this strictly for um, networking purposes.
2. His first big role was in Dazed and Confused and he can most recently be seen in How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, which was just released on video. He can also be seen in Ed but you know what, wait for that mess to come on TV. I saw it on a plane and while I love Matt…
3. McConaughey once dated Sandra Bullock who is one of my favorite actresses so I’m not hatin’ at all.
4. According to Yahoo, during an interview, The Good Googa Mooga came to the aid of a woman who fainted at the Toronto International Film Festival. Yall, if you ever see me faint anywhere close to him, don't believe me. Just let him step right over me. You know I don't act right.
5. And of course I have to mention that back in October 1999 he was arrested for naked conga playing and possession of marijuana. The police were notified by his neighbors of some racket coming from his house. Upon the policemen’s investigation, they saw Matt dancing naked and playing the congas while and unidentified man watched. When they opened the door, the house reeked of pot smoke and “M double” was standing there with two bloodshot eyes. THEN had the nerve to resist arrest. After spending 9 hours in jail, he marijuana charges were later dropped and he paid a $50 fine for violating a noise ordinance. This fool is crazy and I love him for it.

Wednesday, August 6, 2003

The Double Standard- by Toya

When Lyn Collins belted the infamous line “We’ve got to use what we’ve got to get what we want” she didn’t mean parts of our anatomy. There has been a widespread misconception surrounding young females that a way to prove your womanhood is to show your girly parts. “Look, I can speak my mind. I am not a little girl anymore; I can prove it too. Look at my boobies!” This pains me to no end. For example: Eve did not have to convince Adam to eat the fruit by giving him a lap dance. The first time Adam saw Eve she was naked. It gets old. She was able to persuade him using her womanly wiles and even the devil knew this, which is why he chose to punk her instead of Adam. If the devil is hip to this why aren’t we?

If you look back in history
It's a common double standard of society
The guy gets all the glory the more he can score
While the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore

- Christina Aguileira’s “Can’t Hold Us Down”

Do you know why this is? Because women are not supposed to act that way! When will we as women realize that in this world, to try and act like men in order to gain respect is counter-productive? The world does not need for us to act like men. It needs and survives on us acting like women. As women, we have a unique wisdom and measureless power that if forfeited for futile penis envy renders us ineffective. We are precious. We are priceless and the world revolves around us. If you saw a diamond ring on sale for 25 cents wouldn’t you question it’s real value, it’s authenticity? You’d think it was a hoax. If this is the case then why do we as women, the diamonds of the world, resort to selling ourselves so cheap? No one is going to accept the value of a woman’s worth if we are selling it for a quarter, or a record deal, or fame or a corner office on Park Avenue.

One of the finest examples of a true woman of our generation is Sade. Sade emanates the essence of a woman. She is smart, she is innovative, and she is timeless. She puts out an album once maybe every five years and when it drops, it is soon platinum. She rarely tours but sells out every venue she plays. She does this all with poise, with grace and with her clothes on.

Let your dignity be “Like Whoa”. Make the double standard work for you. Pimp that sucker to death. You might feel like you are “not a girl but not yet a woman” but once you are a woman, you won’t have to prove it by openly talking about your sex life and exposing yourself. I am not talking about dumbing down women and acting ignorantly docile. There is nothing wrong with speaking up and voicing your opinion but use your sharpness and wit in the way that only a woman can. Mother Theresa was not a woman of many words but she will be known forever for her wisdom and her impact on the world. How many of today’s so-called “Independent Women” will be able to say the same?

Tuesday, August 5, 2003

When We Last Left Our Heroes...

The above is a quote from my brother describing Tia's and my latest ounce of drama. Never a dull moment at the BGLU headquarters. There was a fire in our kitchen yesterday and we are still on round the clock clean up duty so in the meanwhile, here's some fun stuff for you all.

Since so many of you have been writing us and letting us know that there are other BGLU's out there, we need to pool our resources and get some answers.

Have You Seen This Man?

Name: Tony Thompson
Last Seen: ????
Claim to Fame: Lead singer of Hi-Hive, later went solo

We haven't seen this brother since the 90's yall. NINETIES! The last century!

Tony Thompson was the lead singer of the incredible 90's (I think late 80's actually) group Hi-Five who gave us such hits as "Just Can't Handle It", "(I Like The Way) The Kissing Game", and "Quality Time" ("so when my pager goes off"). Hi-Five made the 90's so, so, enjoyable. Unfortunately, they didn't last too much longer than their peers, Shai and Color Me Badd (ooooooh, you know we gotta bring up Bryan Abrams soon. I'm about to put out an APB on him.). Thompson later went solo on Giant Records and had a mild hit with the Babyface penned "I Wanna Love Like That", which is one of my faovrite songs of all time.

So there it is, this week's "Have You Seen This Man"? If you know of their whereabouts, hit us up.-------->

Friday, August 1, 2003

In honor of the weekend I figured I would add a new segment to the BGLU world. It’s called “Remember When?”

I can not begin to tell you how many times either Toya or myself will start a sentence with, “Remember when?” or “Remember that one time…?” So I figured since there are a plethora of ideas for this, I would start cranking them out every so often. I know that some of these will make you smile, some of them may make you cry and some of them will simply make you say, “OOOOOHHHHHH!!!!!”

So here’s this week’s “Remember When?”

Interracial Love Moments

5. Remember when you found out that not only was Captain Kirk a pimp but that he had a thing for sistahs? (If you have no idea what I’m talking about, do some research on the first interracial kiss on television.)
4. Remember when David Addison (Bruce Willis) kissed the fool out of that black girl on “Moonlighting” and she just passed out?
3. Remember when you found out the Shawn was dating Angela on “Boy Meets World”? (And remember how they used to kiss like NOBODY was watching?)
2. Remember when you found out that Jon B. was NOT black but his wife, Music, was?
1. Remember when Peter DeLuise and Holly Robinson-Peete hooked up on 21 Jump Street? (Did you wish it had been Johnny Depp like I did?)

Sad Moments in Hip-Hip

4. Remember when you realized that 50 cent was not going to go away quickly?
3. Remember Vanilla Ice’s “Rollin’ Up The Hootie Mack”? (This one is a little obscure. Vanilla tried to make a come back in ’94 with an ode to weed. The first line was, “I need some herbs and spices/ so I can feel nices. I’M NOT KIDDING. I couldn’t make that up. It was so terrible that it has permanently burned itself into my memory. It was worse than Don Johnson’s “Heartbreak.” Which, I must say, is a tragedy all on it’s own.)
2. Remember how PISSED you were when you found out that some “ignint” anus person shot Jam Master Jay and that it may have been over something frivolous. (i.e. studio time and record promotion)
1. Remember when 2 Pac was shot but you knew he was going to pull through? You knew it because it was just Pac against the world. And not only was he going to pull through but he was going to blast those fools on wax when he was up and around. Remember the day the music really died when you found out Pac hadn’t made it?

Don’t we really miss 2 Pac?
Yall are really going to hate us for this one:

Are Snoop Dogg and Backstreet Boys' Kevin Richardson long lost brothers? Let's discuss.