Wednesday, July 23, 2003

Sigh...I am in love (of course, this is by Toya)

Okay, well not really and with no one specifically but the fact of the matter is I am hopelessly in love with men. The one unique thing about this site that I love is that at no time will there be man bashing. I mean, why? We're no feminists, not even a little bit.

For those that don't know, we live in Nashville aka Cashville aka Nashvegas aka Home of the Up and Coming Country Music Star AKA Christian Music Hollywood. If it wasn't for the blaring neon lights of Corky's Barbecue on the side of the road, I would sometimes swear that I was in California. A lot of men just don't seem to want to eat around here. If I see one more man in a baby tee I might kidnap him and fry him up some chicken, I promise you. I mean, I thought this was the South. But no, this is Nashville where dreams come true and everyone wants to be/is/wants to be around/wants to look like a rock star.

Not that there is anything terribly wrong with skinny men ( I have crushed on many of skinny, heroin addicted rock musicians) but when you tack on the effeminate, ambiguously gay factor, it gets a bit discouraging. I am not fixing to see you get in a fight and have to ask you to hold my earrings or better yet, I have to hold all 6 pairs of yours. Don't tell me you can't look under the hood of my car because you have new Diesel pants on. And if I can't find my Lancome mascara because it is in your Abercrombie gym bag, then be prepared to get your teeth capped. I know "I thought this was about being in love"; it's coming. I just had to share with you my frustration with a lot of guys in this town. But it doesn't matter because I know longer love guys, I love men.

Men are great. The older I get the more I realize that while GUYS are good, MEN are better. As of late, I have been intrigued by men and man stuff: their clothes, cologne, the way they walk and think. Within the past couple of weeks, I have actually gotten to be around MEN and up until this point, I didn't realize how much I missed them. Men that camp, men that climb, men that fix cars and build that get MUSTY (thank you Jesus) and all the while can sing, write, paint, and interior decorate. Men in mechanics uniforms(yowzers), men in three piece suits, men in black ribbed turtlenecks, men in that cry, men with scars, men with families, men in love...There is something in me that makes me their biggest fan. Maybe it's their logic and rationale in contrast to my emotionalism and haphazardness. Their ability to be straightforward and to the point; to be soft but stern. Their shoulders, their jaws, their chiseled noses. I think I spent a good half hour one night staring at the curves in Gary Dourdan's face. How can you not love a man?

This appreciation is in no means lustful or does it have solely to do with romantic attraction. I love men as friends, as brothers, and father figures. I love my bus driver who wakes up at 3 AM and works hard to take care of his grandchild. I love my friend Eric who is rugged and is at home in the great outdoors but unashamedly cries when he talks about the unconditional love of Christ. I love my dad who is a shrewd, proud business man but knows just how to randomly kiss me on top of the head and tell me that he loves me. I love my coworker for taking charge the other day all the while showing compassion for my feelings in a way that only a true man can. And while thinking about all of this,I can't help but realize that the very things I love about men are the very things I love about Jesus. Honestly, I love men that can build things. Jesus was a carpenter. I love men that love children. Jesus tried to raise up on the disciples when they wouldn't let the children near him. I love men that take charge and are not punks. Jesus went into the temples where they were bootlegging (my interpretation) flipped the tables over, made his own whip and threw people out. . He was at all the live parties but held his own, didn't fall into temptation and get drunk. He was man enough to turn the other cheek, to pour his life into 12 knucklehead disciples and die for the very people who spat on him, whipped him and crucified him. He loves me enough to die for me and doesn't hold a grudge when I act as if it never happened and welcomes me back when I get a clue. He is jealous of my time and always there when I need Him- ALWAYS. He doesn't pretend to know how I feel, he knows EXACTLY how I feel. While being a man and had man parts, he never used the excuse "I am just a man" and ran off with Mary Magdalene. Jesus embodies everything I could ever want in a man and everything that I can ever hope to be as a person.

Ever seen those bumper stickers "Real Men Love Jesus"? It's the only Christian bumper sticker I have ever liked. Why? Think about it: a real man is secure enough to humble himself, despite public opinion or persuasion and model his life after and submit his life to the greatest man that has ever lived. Now that is sexy.

So yes, I am in love with men today, this week and the next 70 some odd years. They light up my life and make my world a better place. And although they rarely ask for directions and hate to admit that they can't fix things they are a constant reminder to me of how awesome God truly is.

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